domingo, 26 de agosto de 2012
I remember new faces, old faces, a handful of people I’ve met while intoxicated, people I’ve loved, people I’ve left, still trailing behind like vapour. I remember Bach at one in the afternoon and Bright Eyes at one in the morning and Joy Division playing on repeat for three whole days. I remember chemicals. Cigarettes that aren’t your usual brand. I have two cuts on your shin, three bruises. I remember being lonely. I don’t remember the last time I ate. I remember a chessboard hidden underneath his bed that’s missing most of the pieces; He has lost a white rook and a black knight and the white queen, that I’ve replaced with a small lipstick, a lighter, a tin of english breakfast tea. I remember slow hands on naked skin and having the person I love most whispering to me, lying in bed in lazy configurations
jueves, 23 de agosto de 2012
You never really understand how bearable pain is until you’ve been consumed by it. Until you’ve felt it over and over again. After a while it becomes familiar. Greet your sadness like an old friend. There is no escape, so embrace it. Fall apart under the weight it inflicts upon you, weight like bricks, like cars, like tonnes of guilt and remorse in a tangible form. Let it hold you down until you’re so exhausted that you think you will crumble trying to support your own weight. Let it take you as far as you can go, and then, fight back. Fight back and win. Win,win for once in this battle.
Live for the moments when you know you don’t want to live anymore, live in spite of that.
Live because it hurts.
Live because if it hurts, it means you’re still here.